


Who Could Stay?

by Irhaboggles



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Album: Lover (Taylor Swift), Angst, Archer - Freeform, Background Tojo Kirumi, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Drabble, Ficlet, Inspired by Taylor Swift, One Shot, Pre-Killing Game, Sad, Song fic, Song: The Archer (Taylor Swift), Tragedy, and during killing game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:48:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irhaboggles/pseuds/Irhaboggles
Summary: Many would ask who could ever leave someone as amazing as Kirumi. The better question was: who could stay? Who could ever leave someone as endlessly skilled and caring as her? Well, anyone who saw all of her failures as well. And after those had been seen? Well, then who could ever stay? Yes, she was the Ultimate Maid. But if this was the price, then who could ever stay?
Kudos: 1





	Who Could Stay?

The archer stood alone and readied her bow. 

_Combat  
I'm ready for combat…_

Kirumi stood slightly off to the side, watching protectively over her charges from a distance. While they enjoyed one another's company, blissfully ignorant, Kirumi remained on guard. She could feel it in her bones that a storm was coming, even if she didn't know when or how. She just wanted to be prepared. Even though she was a maid, she was also trained in the art of war. It was in case she needed to physically defend her master, that was how she put it. But perhaps it was more than that.

Because even though Kirumi would refuse to be called a bodyguard or solider, it was true. She was just as trained in interrogation and bloodshed as she was in cooking and cleaning. And sometimes, it was more than just her usual hypercompetence. Her skill in combat couldn't just be attributed to her talent as the Ultimate Maid. There was something more savage lurking just beneath the surface. Perhaps there was a tiny part of her that _liked_ the violence, chaos and aggression.

As dainty and dignified as Kirumi liked to act, she was silk hiding steel. A true monster with a ferocious bite lay behind the kind, calm, gentle, caring cover. That was not to say this affection was a lie, rather, that Kirumi was just as capable of ending a life as she was caring for one. And that, sometimes, she would enjoy the thrill of the kill just as much. Because the battlefield was the only place she could truly be herself: raw, feral, genuine and completely unbridled.

Perhaps it seemed uncharacteristically harsh to paint the maid in such an aggressive light, but it was true! Because cruelty won in the movies. Even if Kirumi, herself, had had a fairly simple and safe life, she was not stupid. She was all too aware of how dangerous and cruel her world truly was. She saw it all the time. Whether people wanted to admit it or not, only the strong survived. But that was a rather grim outlook to have, so Kirumi had never been very good at articulating it to her peers. Or maybe she'd just never had the courage to really open up like that…

Either way, her nihilistic outlook on life isolated her from her peers, because even the darkest among them did not share her exact same somber sense of seriousness. As such, she remained completely alone on that front. But she refused to forsake her beliefs. It was not because she was trying to be stubborn. It was because it was the only thing she knew. As one who'd grown up in a wounded world, she had no idea how to live in peace. It was getting so old, but she had no idea how to change it. All she could do was make a silent, desperate prayer, and hope…

"Help me hold onto you!" she would whisper into the night. She had no idea who she was talking to. Or who she even _wanted_ to be talking to. All she knew was that she was slipping from reality and she wanted desperately for someone to pull her back and give her a reason to stay. She needed guidance. Even though she was only a high schooler, she'd already been the archer and the prey. She knew enough to know that even though many would ask who could ever leave her, the better question was: who could stay?

Behind all of her wonder came a _lot_ of flaws and faults. A lot of emotional baggage and incompatibility. Why else would she remain alone despite being so wonderful? Because as wonderful as she was, there was more to it than that, and that was where people always tripped up.

ooo

And then Monokuma's Killing Game began. Kirumi had, in the beginning, firmly placed herself on the side of good. She'd made it clear that she would sever her peers as if they were her clients, and that even though they were in a Killing Game, she would continue to be a reliable source of support, aid and comfort. But underneath those noble intentions was a dark plot waiting to unfold.

Of course the Killing Game's goal was to break its victims' sense of self and morality, but part of the fun was in the fact that every "player" was deeply flawed in some way or other. That meant, no matter how strong their principles were, it would only take one well-aimed shot to strike their Achilles' heel and watch them destroy _themselves_ from the inside out.

As incredible as Kirumi was, there was a dark side to her. Most people would laugh in disbelief at first, just because Kirumi didn't seem the type, but it was true! And she would, with a world-weary smile, dare people to find it. But they never would. Not because it didn't exist, but because they never looked in the right place. That dark side was _right there_ in front of them. It was the face Kirumi saw in the mirror every day. People just didn't realize it. But Kirumi was not granted that same mercy. She was always painfully aware of what lurked just below her surface.

The maid had done a lot of work on herself over the years, trying to erase these perceived flaws and tame herself into something more "acceptable", but that only brought along its own sorrows. Whether she knew it or not, the maid was setting herself up for failure because her standards were just too high. She would metaphorically mutilate herself in attempt to change herself, and then she would hate her reflection for years and years. She would hate it for every twisted thing it became, and every glorious thing it didn't.

And these problems only amplified as the Killing Game progressed. After the first murder and trial, which forced everyone to come to the harsh realization that this game was all too real, Kirumi found herself unable to sleep. She would wake in the night and pace like a ghost, helpless and restless and haunted by the dead. It felt like the room was on fire with how much tension was pent up inside of her, but what could she do? All her heroes and friends were dying in front of her, and dying alone, and she couldn't save anyone.

"Help me hold onto you!" Kirumi cried, her old prayer returning with more urgency now than it had ever had before. Just like in the past, she had no idea who she was talking to, or what she even really wanted. All she knew was that she needed something to keep her grounded. The realization of the first deaths had hit her hard, and she felt like such a failure. Who could ever leave someone as endlessly skilled and caring as her? Well, anyone who saw all of her failures as well. And after those had been seen? Well, then who could ever stay?

ooo

And Kirumi's next (and biggest) failure happened not long after the first deaths of the Killing Game. She responsible for the next murder.

"Kirumi?!" the whole class was in despair at the horrific epiphany, but Shuichi's evidence was too conclusive to deny. Even Kirumi was out of rebuttals. She could only give the rest of the class a rueful smile. She'd gone through any number of "personalities" over the trial, beginning with her usual Maid Self and ending with someone on the brink of a meltdown. Now with everything said and done, all that remained was a very bittersweet soul who still could not decide whether or not she regretted the way things had turned out.

In times like this, even Kirumi could not understand herself. But underneath all of her mixed emotions was a strand of guilt, sharper and clearer than anything else. It was the worm that never died, her conscience. She could see right through herself and every act she'd put on since she'd first watched her motive video. And she was certain that all the others could see right through her as well. She could feel their disgusted eyes staring into her soul. Surely they could also see how disgusted she felt with _herself_ right?

She was just so pathetic that everything was laid bare now. She couldn't even lie to herself anymore. All she could do was see her own face in her mind's eyes: a perfect summation of all her many mistakes, both before and during the Killing Game. And she could see the condemning stares of all her peers as well. But they were no longer just staring at the blood on her hands. They were staring at the tears in her eyes too. They could see right through her. _She_ could see right through her. And the humiliation of being so exposed was the ultimate part of her trial's conclusion.

Now Kirumi had truly become undone. Every thread in her web of lies and intricacies had been unwound. She had nothing left anymore. And not even the best Ultimate in all the world could fix it, or her. All of her enemies, newfound, had started out friends. These cruel faces, staring at her with such hostility, had been the very faces she used to look to for comfort, and to give and receive affection. Not anymore. But even so, that tiny part of Kirumi that had been so mercilessly exposed to the rest of the class still continued to pray.

"Help me hold onto you!" she was talking to them, even though she knew they'd already rejected her. And that a tiny part of her had rejected them as well. With them being her enemies now, they were just another target for her Soldier Side to conquer. That didn't mean her heart didn't still bleed at the thought of having to watch her best friends turn against her, but it was a part of her maidly duties, so it was a burden she was still willing to bear, no matter how badly it would hurt.

Here, just like so many times before, she was the archer and the prey. The strong and the weak. The one giving the commands and the one receiving them. She was guilty and innocent. Hero and villain. She was everything. And so, she was nothing. Who could ever leave her? Who could ever stay? If the price of being the Ultimate Maid was _this,_ who could stay?

At the end of the trial, the students looked fearfully between themselves, trying their best to avoid Kirumi's emotionless and unreadable stare. In one moment where no eyes were on her, she shot them all a wounded and longing look. A silent prayer. A request. But she already knew it was over. She was alone again. The storm on the horizon had finally arrived. Now there was only one thing left to do…

_Combat  
I'm ready for combat…_

The archer stood alone and readied her bow.

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Taylor Swift's "Archer" reminded me a lot of Kirumi, so I wrote this fic as a result. My best friend (Penguinlover611), equally inspired, created the Wattpad cover image at my request.


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